The first thing I did was to fill up a large stock pot with an inch or two of water. I put the pot on a burner set on high, dumped in a steamer insert, and put on the lid.
While waiting for the water to boil, I washed and trimmed a large head of cauliflower and cut up the florets and stem. Next, I grabbed a packet of Trader Joe’s peeled garlic from the fridge and sliced up all the cloves. Don’t worry about how everything looks because it’ll all get pulverized later in the Cuisinart.
Once I was done prepping the cauliflower and garlic, the water in the pot was boiling, so I dumped in the stems, half of the florets, and all of the garlic and salted everything liberally.
Then, I put in the rest of the cauliflower, seasoned with more salt, replaced the lid, and steamed everything until it was soft (~10 minutes). You won’t overcook it. The only part you can mess up is if all the water dries up in the bottom of the pot. But barring that, you’ll be fine.
Once the florets are soft, I dumped everything into a colander and let it drain.
Once drained, I threw everything into my Cuisinart.
I added some fresh cracked pepper, microplaned nutmeg…
…and two tablespoons of butter (grassfed, of course).
Final step: I processed everything until smooth.
One last taste for seasoning later, I put my faux “mashed potatoes” in a covered Corningware and popped it in my fridge. The puree reheats beautifully in the microwave.
It’s tasty, cheap, super-easy and pretty much foolproof. So no excuses, people.